Lost

I woke up this morning feeling a bit lost.
I don't know what to do for Christmas and New year. Sigh.

It's a weird feeling. Like I'm wasting my life but I refuse to do any work.
Maybe I should go back to bed.

Sigh.

Love, Actually (I'm also not sure)

HAHAH!

Broken english.

Anyways, so many things have happened recently that made me wonder about what makes up a relationship?

Love?
Responsibilities?
Respect?
Trust?
Mutual understanding? or the so-called 'chemistry' that makes 2 ppl click naturally

What are the causes of 'affairs'? What are the causes of such 'fatal' attraction?

My guess is that the first thing that occurs in any relationship is the attraction part. Scientifically speaking, attraction is all about hormones and different chemicals in our bodies.. From what I know, it's the scent or whatever thing that comes out of one person that makes another attracted to him/her. Siblings usually have the same scent (because they have the same genes) and therefore, they hardly attract one another. (Because, "opposites attract, like repel")
Blah blah blah...

So what happens when one person is attracted to another? Is there love? Does love come before or after the attraction?

Then how do they stay together? Then responsibility, respect and trust, etc all come into play.
I've watched enough TV dramas to know that feelings can change. But then, do the feelings really change? Or was it a bad mistake from the start?? (Hmm, I just came up with this. And I'm feeling quite proud of myself.)

Question 1: Should 2 people who know longer like each other remain together?
Question 1a: What if only one of them has a change of feelings?

Question 2: How would you know the 'other person' is the correct one? And not another mistake?

HAIZ, such tough questions.. I'm having a writer's block.

My humble opinion is to simply let nature take its course.

I read an article in the Sunday Times and it was about women and how the fact that they tend to live longer than men makes them more prone to dying alone. It's really a very sad fact and while it's not their choice, I feel that it is kinda unfair that women have to suffer alone. Of course, there are men who out-live their wives.. but the naked truth is that whoever is left behind suffers..

This theory will only hold for couples. For those swinging bachelors and spinsters, I'm not too sure.. Would they have gotten used to the loneliness by then?

The bottom line is really to just make this lifetime as enriching and fulfilling as it can get..

Since no one really knows the correct way to live and love.

End of exams!

Wow!!
It's been so long ago since I updated my blog!

The exams have just finished! : )

I can't wait to go out and play! : )

But still, a bit sian because I still need to prepare for exchange, etc etc.

Hate life. Doesn't end the stress doesn't end the frustrations..

: (

戴佩妮 - 兩難

誰將你眼眶

染成一抹紅

誰用模糊語言輕易帶過承諾

幾度夢裡尋覓

踏遍多少愁

敢問弦月缺少了什麼

少了那一夜短暫煙火

只能懷念剎那閃爍

少了那一次流星滑落

只能將心意淡沒

我說去亦難留亦難怎麼辦

有些話只能偷偷拿出來紀念遺憾

我說愛亦難恨亦難分作兩半

有些人注定和寂寞相伴

有些人注定只能作伴 My song of the moment: ) The link to listen to it. Only IE! Mozilla cannot. http://web.ezpeer.com/cd/c48467s124.html

A post about Utada Hikaru! : )

I was busily modifying the looks of my igoogle page when I came across this:

http://211.19.44.167/message/

It's called Messages from Utada Hikaru.
Please browse through them if you're free. : )

She draws v nice stuff! : )

Really good stuff..

I really can't elaborate cos I'm supposed to be in a project meeting!! : P

Talk to u later!

Trip to the Philippines

Took some time off to go on a short trip to the Philippines with my mum.
The main reason I went was because I've never been there before..So yeah, we should experience and explore the world while we still can.

I was all excited to go around and explore the country on my own when I received advice from both friends and bosses at work that it's a very dangerous place to be wandering alone. -_-
So I got kinda scared at first.

Here's a brief recount of the trip.

4th Aug (Mon)
Reached the Philippines at around 5 pm
When we finally cleared the customs (which had an incredibly long queue), we found the company driver and he told us that the typhoon had just arrived. - _ - This means a lot of rain...not good news for me..

Since it was raining continuously, my mum and I went to a Korean restaurant near by our hotel. The hotel on the first day was a different one from those my mum stayed before..and it was smack in the middle of the red light district.. seemed very dangerous so we didn't dare to wander far. Looking at all the dishes, it's hard to imagine it only costs P700 which is about S$20 in total.


Below: My mum and I at the lobby of the dodgy hotel. My hair looks like I cut it really short..but the actual length is below.


Below: Me at the better hotel (My mum requested to change the hotel because the environment was really dodgy)


Oh! I watched Iron Man and a bit of Made of Honour on the flight there. : ) Iron Man's quite okay but I guess it's more fun watching it in the theatre.

Anyway, my mum had to work the next day so I dropped off at a shopping mall. (Correction: Shopping malls.) The malls in the Philippines are all interlinked and very big. One mall is the size of Vivocity and can u imagine Vivocity connected to 3 other Vivocities?
I walked until I nearly died.

The first thing you notice in the Philippines malls are the security checkpoints at every entrance. When I say every entrance, I mean EVERY entrance. There are male and female rows for checking. The police officer will check ur bag and you have to pass through a metal detector.. It's quite troublesome but we have to compromise for our safety. The same with hotels. If you drive to the lobby, they will take this huge mirror and walk around the car to check for bombs. They also have dogs to sniff out potential dangers. And did I mention that all the security officers carry loaded weapons?! From the small hand guns to the huge rifles or AK 47. or something... the bullets were huge!


My first meal I bought when I was wandering about on my own was Jollibee (it's the name of a fast food restaurant in the Philippines). AND it's really cheap. One hotdog meal cost P66 which is about S$2? For a meal, with fries and drink!!



My 1st Starbucks! OMG it's v cheap there! A tall Coffee Jelly Frappucino costs P140 which is about S$4.70 and this is the most expensive one already. And they have white mocha frappucino. Sounds nice!


I also noticed that the journalism in the Philippines is very casual. I remember very strongly the 1st article I read in the papers began like this:
"Straight men would find that Ms XXX is the most beautiful etc etc." And the 'S' of 'Straight' was those fancy fonts.
"There can't be no denying that ... "

Definitely culture shock.

Anyways, the songs in the Philippines are still at Destiny's Child's 'Say My Name' and Beyonce's 'Irreplaceable'. I think I'm kinda addicted to these songs now..Kinda catchy.. haha! If you do have them, pls send me. Thanks.

McDonald's over there is also cheap. A meal costs P88 which is approx S$3 (even less than S$3).

With some twist of fate, my mum and I ended up following her colleague's wife to Bohol Island, off Cebu for a getaway weekend. The trip comprised of me, my mum, her colleague's wife and her colleague's wife's friend from Shanghai who had come to visit and of course, the little son (1.5 years)

He's really cute but he doesn't talk much.

The two main attractions of Bohol are the Chocolate Hills and Tapiers. Tapiers are the world's smallest monkeys but they have the biggest eyes. My mum insists that Master Yoda from Star Wars was derived from Tapiers. You be the judge.

They are nocturnal so they were all lazing around when we went. but they are very agile..haha..



The famous Chocolate Hills. 100% natural. So it's amazing..all in the size of little triangles. Or should I say upside down cones.

I took the following picture from my mum's office building. Can see the entire city of Makati which is Philippines' Business district. Can also see a lot of air pollution.. tsktsk..


That's all! :)

Oh! And the very very nice pictures of sunset I took on the flight home! : )



I'm starting to like my camera! : ) I took loads more but I can't possibly upload everything..

Damn tired now..Shall go to sleep. : )

The rabbits

I've been slacking for the past 2 days! And that's because I'm just lucky that my mentor's on a retreat.. so she will not be in work for 2 days.. And she gave me the permission to just not turn up since I wouldn't have work to do..

Anyway, I spent the entire morning 'cleaning up' my laptop at the school's helpdesk. Now my laptop's just as good as new!! : )

Kinda like a medical checkup for him (I assume my laptop's a guy)


Oh well..once that was done and I was home, I let the rabbits out! : )





They are so much bigger now..

And they are soon reaching their 8th month!
Can you believe it? They are not even a year old! and so big!!

New quote!

Secrets are facts that are untold.

If someone told you a secret, it no longer becomes a secret but a fact.

I thought of this kinda randomly. I think I was in my room or something.

Oh well.

Anyway, I was thinking I think the person who said that, "If I could predict the future correctly, I would be a damn rich guy," is very correct. HAHA

I totally agree.

More quotes

'if a problem can be solved, there is no need to worry about it. And if it cannot be solved, then theres is also no reason to worry about it. That is true becoz, if it can be solved, all you need is enough effort and you will solve it. no worries. conversely if it cant be solved, then no effort can accomplish it and no anxiety can help it. no worries.' - Bodhicharyavatara

I think it's one of those highly subjective quotes. Faced with a difficult challenge, you resign to fate. But you take a step back and realize that you may not want to go through life being led by the nose by something known as 'fate'.

So you start to ponder, could I make something that was once impossible possible? Or it was possible all along and the 'impossibleness' was just something you came up with to feel better about yourself.

If moderation is key, then I think it's all about understanding oneself and one's limits. If you can, you can. If you can't, learn to let go.

Quote

I heard my senior say this and I couldn't stop laughing.

有史以来，只有client xian auditor, 没有auditor xian client 的！
HAHA!!

Basically, it means usually only the clients will try to pull wool over the auditor's eyes and not the auditor doing it to the client.

This conversation occurred because there was a discussion on some adjustments to be done to the company's accounts and the accounts exec was unhappy cos it means work on top of her normal workload..

HAHAH! haiz...the conflicts in a day's work..

Updates..

I've been blogging quite frequently these days..

HAHA! Too much time on my hands..

Anyway, I'm finally listening to the Matchbox Twenty album and it's darn good. : )

I did something brave today. I went to a client's office alone and did the work!! I don't know if I noted down everything I was supposed to but yeah, I feel really INDEPENDENT! haha!

It felt like I was thrown into the sea with the oxygen tank and everything. It just depended on how I was going to react..

It turned out fine lah.. I hope. I'll only know my 'performance' on Monday when my boss comes back and reviews the work I've done..
sigh.. *fingers crossed*

Anyways, I finally tried the green tea McFlurry..
Okay only lah.. for $2.50.. I expected more.. but I guess it depends on who's making the ice cream right?? Like if the person is not going to give you a lot of the flavouring then the McFlurry is not going to taste that fantastic..

But at least I managed to eat it..

I'm hoping to watch a movie next week!! Hopefully 'Sex and the City'.. : )
But we'll only know next week..

'Not by the blisters on my sunburnt skin' - reading these words made me realize that this blog is 1-year old!! : )

whee.. one year has passed..

So many things have changed since then... some happy, some devastating..some anger, some laughter but we move on..

People say that 'No one is really indispensable.' I think that it's very true.. Sad but true..

We can only hold on to memories..and hope that we never let them fade away with time..

Since we can never tell what will happen next, 珍惜眼前人。

I tend to take things for granted sometimes..

We try to grab on to something.. but once we do so, our fists open and the things we were holding on to initially fall out.

(That's why it's important to have 2 hands.. hehehe...)

P.S. I love my rabbits! : )

Separate issue: youths these days..

I just watched this weird short video called 'Youth blog' on channel U.

The story was about this girl who has family problems, school problems and relationship problems..so she turns to this act of cutting herself with a pen knife..thinking that it will make the pain all go away.

Of course, initially, this act works 'wonders' and she's happy for a while. She gets to make friends in school as well cos they all cut themselves..

I think the weirdest part has got to be the scene where she asks her younger sister to cut herself.. when the younger one refuses, she cuts her!! and naturally the younger sister cringes and weeps quietly in pain.. The girl actually goes, 'Yay, I'm finally better at something than her.' ... -_-

But the show had really classic quotes:
1. The ones you love the most have the ability to hurt you the deepest.

2. When I needed help, I hoped that you could be there. But you were not. (Or something along those lines...)

Anyway, the ending was so abrupt.. The father helped her put antiseptic cream on her fresh wounds because the 'feel good' effect had worn off and she was trying to get more 'kick' and started scraping her whole arm with the pen knife like it was someone else's hand.

The moral of the story:

Sleep more, watch less.

Good night! : )

it's amazing how...

the littlest of things can make one so happy and forget the tonnes of things that make one feel like crap..

I'm finally able to add a new kind of citizen in MyCity in facebook!
A taxi driver!!

I've been trying so hard and hoping that they'd give me more choices of the citizens to put in my City!

WAHAHAH! I couldn't help but clap and laugh out loud when I saw 'Taxi Driver' at the end of the list! : )
I'm gonna add many many Taxi Drivers!

I'm insane.. hahaha : )

Life's a b*tch but we'll survive. : )

Because of the wonderful pantry at work and the silliest of conversations with my dad.. : )
and facebook.

Need comfort food

Hai..

I'm not a fan of writing unhappy stuff on blogs..but hai, these few days have been really crap.. I feel v down..

After a certain unhappy incident at work (not worth even mentioning who and why cos it's just so unbelievable), I've been going through this horrible phase.. I think it's really the DOWN side of things..

Quite bad..

I think it's affecting my attitude..whether towards people or work..

And I also feel bad because I haven't spent time listening to Matchbox Twenty's latest album (that's already quite old). I have the time but not the patience.. The songs' bridges sounds nice but I don't have the mood! I can't even tahan the new songs for 3 secs. ( Not that they are bad, Matchbox Twenty's songs are all very nice!) but I just don't feel good..

I just wanna keep on listening to the songs I'm familiar with..
Quite screwed up..

I think I need a good and healthy dose of endorphines!!
Make me happy too..hai..I really need to improve on this situation or I'll really destroy every single friendship I have now..

My family's also making unreasonable requests of me..Really unreasonable..

I think I'm going crazy.

Hope this phase ends soon..Otherwise, it'll be a damn early quarterlife crisis..

MAN UTD!!

Okay, I have to apologize for the previous incoherent post..

I was really dozing off then.. HAHA!

I have to go back to my previous posts on post-exams celebration.

Report:

Things I have done so far:

Tennis - played with Xiuwen and gang the week after the exams
Karaoke - Yup! Done it.
Dramas - I have finished Honey and Clover (Live Action) and It Started with a Kiss: The Sequel
Now, I'm ploughing through Last Friends.. Time is needed to upload them onto crunchyroll and mysoju.com..HAHA

Discovered a new website.. for all my nonsense..

Coffee - yes, sufficient
Books - I bought a John Grisham book called the Innocent Man..hai.. But I'm taking my time in finishing it..It's such a sad story..hai..
Then there's this book called the Life of Pi..which I also read halfway.. It's too profound for me.. HAHAHA!

Travel - I think the only major traveling was to Kranji for my first assignment..I can forget about going overseas now..

Movies - Iron Man, Accuracy of Death, Sex and the City, Red Cliff, 21, The Dark Knight.
I want to watch leh!! hai..but no time and no money..and no company..haiz..

Jiu wo bah!

sleepless?

hai..

I'm yawning away but refusing to sleep..
Silly right??
Am still online because I want to charge my iPod.

I just completed Honey and Clover Live Action Drama on this new website..
It's strange how the director managed to capture most of the scenes in the anime..okay, maybe not strange but more of amazing. The expression, the scenery, the conversations is similar to that in the anime!! The way the characters cry, laugh, smile and just play the fool..hai..

sugokatta!

I think I like the show more and more..ever since I first watched the anime back in my JC years, until today (4 years on..has it been that long already??)

I've done nothing today..very boring day..
the positive thing was that I didn't go out and that means that I managed to not spend $$..

my $$ source has been depleted cos of the unbelievably high taxi fares...

btw, I started work approximately 3 weeks ago..It's been really amazing.. a lot of exposure..
nice and friendly people to work with...even though you can sense their stress levels..they manage to keep it light and cool..

I don't know for sure if this is what I'm gonna be doing after I graduate.. I hear people telling me not to join it cos though they don't hate it, they don't like it...haha!

But then again, how many of us actually get to incorporate what we want to do and work??
probably one in a billion??

I like to keep my work separate..it's like work gives u a kind of stress that other aspects of your life do not..and vice versa...

Can't imagine combining both...I think the stress would grow exponentially..
Before I knew it, I fall asleep..haaha.. now my iPod's finished charging.
hahaa!

April 22

Today marks the 2nd day of my summer holidays~!

I know the other Unis are not done with their exams yet.

So I decided to come up with my own post-exams schedule..

I'll be working during the entire duration..

I blame this on my 苦命.

HAH!

Oh well. The benefits of working the entire duration is that

1) I have lesser opportunities to spend $$

2) I can earn some $$ also

3) Won't feel the way I'm feeling now. (nothing to do)

Activities

Tennis!!

Movies!!

Karaoke!!

Drinks!!

Coffee!!

Books!!

Travel!!

Please don't be surprised. As a Uni student, you won't have the time for all these luxury items during the entire course of the school term. (especially the one I'm in)

Okay, I shall try to elaborate on the activities.

Tennis - With more tennis kakis, I hope can play almost every week!!

Movies - Iron Man, Harold and Kumar, (can't think of any others now)

Karaoke - Need I elaborate?

Drinks - Find a cheap place to savour the moment

Coffee - Desperate le.

Books - Need to find better libraries with books that have intact covers

Travel - Yo!xiuwen is going ShangHai. Don't know if can go and find her after 1 Aug 08. HAHA!!

Maybe go for a week also shuang hor! : )

I shall post some pics up! : )

PartyWorld! (What an apt name for my first post-exam event)

Sang Jay Chou, Eason Chan, Wang Lee Hom

My new hairstyle. My mum wanted me to cut this really huge fringe thing..But I chicken-ed out at the end..So I just layered it..I think I layered too much..Now my hair's just curling out..

Good also lah..Look like I go and perm but also never perm.. HAHA!!

I'm in school..

How's my new skin?

HAHA!! Not exactly the pro-est kind of blog skin. But aiyah...noob is like that one..

I'm blogging in a meeting.. HAHA!!

evil right??

But aiyah, I've been wanting to rant about how my mid term break was vaporized by my Income Tax mid term.. Boooo!!

So I only have the weekend left to slack..After that, it's back to FIIM midterm..

My only consolation is my Teh Tarik.. nice!! Yummy~!

I don't want to get back my results!! Booo.. I refuse to face reality..

Note:
The terrorist at large is scary.. The police say that he would have probably left for Indonesia BUT! today's papers just said that the grassroots ppl are actually giving out 'wanted' notices! How conflicting!!

So dangerous! tsktsk..

Let's all hope for the best!

Watching soccer and blogging

So many things have happened in the past few days..

1. Edison apologized for all the naughty stuff that had been in the tabloids and internet the past few weeks.
I don't understand how his apology can be interpreted into so many conspiracy theories.
His whole return to HK, the protection he got from the police force, etc etc

2. Lydia Sum passed away. I never really watched her shows but she was a classic character.. It's sad when ppl have to die.

3. Wes Brown's quitting Man Utd unless they raise his pay to 65,000 pounds per week. wah!! I never knew he was THIS rich!!

That's like more than I'll ever earn a year..

Newcastle is playing rough and Ronaldo's off-form..
aiyoh...the match is still very open..

4. I'm hungry..though I snacked a lot today..

Rooney just scored! from a Ronaldo assist. and they killed Newcastle. (okay, that's just my humble opinion)

5. This past month has been really tiring..Lack of sleep because everything's been very last minute. Sigh..

Newcastle's Faye just did something silly..and got yellow-carded..
Now Nani's done something really sillly. He didn't know who to pass the ball to and ran straight into the Newcastle defence..haha!!then tumbled onto the ground expecing to get a free kick.. dotz..

Anyways, yeah, school's really draining..
At the rate Newcastle's playing, everyone is gonna get sent off for violent behaviour..tsktsk..
But I love the tackles anyway..HAHAHA!!

I can't believe I have a meeting tomorrow..But aiyah..see how la...Mid term break is not really a break. We all know it but it's just so hard to accept..

I think Wes Brown looks a bit thinner than before..

Just a random thought but is it possible that people in the UK are also concerned about the Edison Chen incident?? Hmmm...haha!! xD

Ronaldo just scored!! 2-0!! before the end of the first half.. I hope that Man Utd can win this match and gain some ground against Arsenal who drew.

I read that the Birmingham skipper lunged at Eduardo and his foot broke quite badly cos Arsene Wenger was whining..

Aiyah..the risks of being rich soccer players..Your physiotherapist probably earns 50% of your pay..

Last published 28th Dec 2007

I can't believe my last post was THAT long ago..

I guess I've been really pre-occupied..
Not to mention the fact that it is nearly 1am..and I'm not sleeping yet.

(A mosquito distracts me.)

I've been sick since forever. I was sick before CNY and now CNY has come and gone and the phlegm levels in my throat have not gone down..

Sigh..Damn sad lah..

Anyways, CNY was interesting. I watched CJ7! I didn't collect as many ang pows as I would have wished. I didn't eat that many goodies as I would have wished.

It seemed less prominent this year. I'm talking about the atmosphere of CNY. (except for the fact that my beloved radio station started having this segment called Xin Nian Ge Qu 9 Lian Huan. 9 CNY songs back-to-back -- they would drive any sane man crazy by the end of the segment..
Someone should feedback to them.. Seriously..

Anyways, CNY was when my irregular sleeping habits started coming back to haunt me.
The idea of shou shui-ing (staying up late so ur parents will have long lives thingy) just caught on again this year. The past few years, I haven't been a nice girl and I slept like at 10pm or something..This year, I slept at 5am..

Wad the?!

Yes, that's the same thing that came to my mind when I saw the clock. I was actually doing school homework. (Falling asleep in front of the computer a couple of times as well, of course) So before I knew it, it was 5am and I only had less than 2 hours when I would have to wake up and go to my grandparents' place..

The usual painful eyes, groggy head syndromes of someone lacking sleep..I woke up anyway.

Just when I thought it was the last time I would be sleeping late, the shou shui-ing has continued to this very day that I am typing this post..

So for the past one-and-a-half weeks, I have been sleep deprived. Definitely not by choice..But by necessity. Homework deadlines, project reports and presentations.. Sigh..

The life of a University student. You practically pay the school to work like mad people..

But when you take a step back and observe, this is what life is about or what it is going to be like. Late nights, boring tasks, no life basically.

Sigh..what have human beings evolved into? Lifeless paper churning organisms. Well, at least they offer proper training in the forms of Universities..HAHA

As I type this post, a sense of deja vu comes over me..Have I posted something like this on the other blog? haha!! See, I'm already losing all sense of time and my memory is all jumbled up.

Aiyah, never mind lah hor.

After a while, life's all about multi-tasking. HAHA! See who can do the most things in the one period of time.

"Begin with the end in mind" versus "The journey is more important than the destination"
Which do you believe in?